


Teenagers scare the living shit out of me

by Polyhexian



Series: Humanformers: The Music AU [8]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Drugs, Gen, Humanformers, POV Third Person, Whirl's got the hard knock life folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:15:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26862736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polyhexian/pseuds/Polyhexian
Summary: Whirl gets ready to go on a trip.
Series: Humanformers: The Music AU [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859230
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	Teenagers scare the living shit out of me

Whirl was humming the bridge to Pearl Jam's _Jeremy_ as she stuffed clothes haphazardly into her backpack when she heard footsteps in the hall outside her open door and turned. Impactor leaned against the doorframe and gave her an upward nod of acknowledgement. She sniffed and dropped her backpack on the bed.

"What?" she asked.

"You're gonna take Springer with you," Impactor said, simply.

"Ah, what?" Whirl groaned, "Are you serious? The fuck have I gotta bring the kid for?"

"He's not a kid, he's eighteen," Impactor reminded her, "He ain't never been to Kaon and it's time. Besides, you're startin' to sound like shit and it's half as much about time you quit this gig. You been doin' it too long."

"Uh, yeah, cuz I'm good at it," Whirl scowled, "I'm too young to retire, boss."

"Just keep Springer from biting it, willya? I promised his mom I'd take care of him and I don't like trusting him to you."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Show him the ropes and keep him from pissing Kroma off," Impactor continued, as if she hadn't spoken, "and when you get back you can start hanging with the girls on fifth like you wanted."

Whirl perked up. "Ye?"

"They could use the muscle, and you know I don't trust Sandstorm for shit. Just finish the gig and I'll give you the night shift."

"Well shit, man, why didn't you start with that?" Whirl grinned, "Tell your boy to meet me at the car in twenty."

"Will do," said Impactor, tapping the doorframe with his fist twice before he turned away and left. Whirl sniffed again, watching the doorway and listening as his boots headed away down the hall. She turned back to her bag and zipped it shut.

* * *

Whirl flicked the lighter two, three times before the sparks caught and she held it to the cigarette in between her teeth for a moment before taking a quick drag to stoke the embers. She flipped the zippo shut and tossed it on the dashboard.

"I wish you wouldn't smoke in here," Roadbuster scowled, "I like my car, believe it or not."

"Get over it," she huffed, and then flicked her eyes up to the rearview mirror to look at the kid in the backseat. A well-rounded teenager with lighter brown skin, short hair and big eyes, Springer didn't quite look like an innocent boy fresh out of highschool nor did he look like fresh gang meat. She wondered if he knew what he was. "Did Impactor tell you what we're doing?"

"Smuggling drugs out of Kaon," he answered.

"Did he tell you how?"

Springer shook his head and Whirl snorted hoarse laughter. Roadbuster grimaced.

"Alright. So here's the deal," Whirl said, plucking the cig from her lips and tapping off ashes, "We're gonna get on a plane. We're gonna have a nice flight. When we get into Kaon a fella named Kroma is gonna pick us up and take us for a ride back home. And then, so it looks like a proper visit to my favourite uncle Kroma, we're gonna stick around a week. That's the fun part. We get to go on a nice li'l vacation. You like the beach, kid?"

"Not really."

"Me neither," she chuckled, "We can go see a foreign movie or somethin' then. Then, last day, we're gonna fill up a hundred or so condoms with coke, tie em off in itty bitty baggies, spray down your throat with some numbing stuff, pop an antacid and then we're gonna swallow 'em."

"A hundred of them?!"

"A least, kid."

"That's so many- can you swallow that many?"

"Uh-huh," Whirl nodded, and then took another drag from her cigarette, "Then we go through security, get on the plane and come home. Roadbuster picks us up and when we get back to the block you pop a laxative and you have a real bad day. Bam. Job done."

She laughed at the face Springer made in the mirror.

"Is it painful?" he asked, looking a bit nauseous.

"Eh," Whirl shrugged, "Nah."

"Don't listen to her," Roadbuster interrupted, "Whirl ain't been able to feel shit since she got her shit kicked in for stealing from the boss."

Whirl laughed hysterically, wheezing and coughing as she did. "Peripheral sensory neuropathy!" she howled, as if that were the punchline to a hilarious joke. 

"So-" said Springer, anxiously, "It _is_ going to hurt?"

"Oh, yeah," Whirl nodded, taking another drag, "Like hell." She leaned forward, brightening as an MCR song began playing quietly on the radio and turned the volume up so loud Roadbuster scowled at her. "Oh, fuck yeah, I love this song! They're gonna clean up your looks, with all the lies in the books, to make a citizen out of you!" 

In the back seat Springer tightened anxious fists against the seat and grimaced, holding back nausea as the airport exit came into view ahead of them.


End file.
